Kikuyu

There is a blog entry from someone in Kenya who is Kikuyu who asks what does it mean to be Kikuyu and asks a non-kikuyu friend to explain it.

It sort of gets summed up here.

There is this episode of 'sisters' where Georgie is thinking about committing suicide and Teddy says something that was so wise.

She was considering it in New York and then saw an ad for an old movie she always wanted to watch and stayed up to watch it. After that she looked for small things to want.

That's the key when life gets dodgy. But also Georgie decides not to do it because of how it would affect those she left behind.

Back in 2000, a colleague from university killed himself.
He was a british asian guy, I remember him being tall and slightly chubby.
He hung himself with a belt, in his room.

Story is his father told him he wouldn't amount to anything, because he didn't get an exemption from the professional exams in his second year results. If I remember he didn't fail for university purposes, so we are talking ten marks here. Cause the university pass mark was 45 but the professional exemption is 60.

And I just wonder, although I wasn't that close to him, if someone else had just been there to say, It's OK.

It's like dead poets society.

Haunting.

The difference is..... for myself.......this time around.
I learnt compassion.

It wasn't for very long but.... I saw a friend lose sight of gestalt

"a structure, configuration, or pattern of physical, biological, or psychological phenomena so integrated as to constitute a functional unit with properties not derivable by summation of its parts"

More than

As am I.

One part, does not negate the others.

However, for the time being. As I am redefining my roles and relationships. I must cut ties to those involved in triggering the transformation.

Because ........ and this is in case the experiment fails.

At all times, we have a choice to continue in this life.
The exit door is open to all of us, at any time.

And that's not a bad thing. It's part of moving on.

We are all dying.......at different rates.
It is an inevitable conclusion to our lives. Always.

I have no regrets to this point.
Travel light and you can sing in the robber's face.