You read my mind

Trini Girl Blue, must have read my mind.

It's been ten years since my mother died. And I have for some time, 2006 I suspect, been unable to shake this underlying sadness that travels at my side. I remember climbing temple IV in Tikal, Guatemala. It was a trip I had planned for two years prior.

And I watched the moon fade and the sun rise and still, in that perfect moment. Something was missing. I just couldn't put my finger on it.

Then I met Cedric, by happenstance. Or perhaps it was fate. He helped me remember the part of me that is my mother. She lives inside me everyday. But there are parts of her that, now that I am an adult in my own right. I have to leave and put aside.

This is the hardest thing that I will ever have to do in my life.

And I have to do it alone, without her here to tell me its OK.

And that takes a giant leap of faith in my own judgement.

But until I do this, I will never be able to take my place where I truly belong.