I thought about going to UWI summer school, but the deadline was yesterday and well....
I don't want to set up myself for a fall, I need to let go of my anger.
And that is very hard, I am accustomed to using it to drive me. It is in many ways my strongest source of motivation. To let go would be to admit that I am helpless, and alone and sad and have an emptiness inside me, a deep sense of longing.
And nothing and no one can fill that void. And it can't be filled and I have to live with it. Be conciously aware of it, learn how it affects me. My behaviour. And to do that would be to admit defeat.
I'm not ready to do that, not for the present situation at the moment. I'm not finished. I have unfinished business I have to fix.
When I have done that, maybe I can let go. When I've given it all that I have, so til then, I suppose I am making a concious decision to hold on to some of my anger. As unhealthy as it is.
Life sucks.
Altamer
4 months ago
1 comment:
Well if you register now you'd have to pay a late fee- $150.
And it's not that deep a situation, classes haven't actually started yet.
I guess you have personal things to deal with, but I'd say go for the summer school if you think you should. Don't let that deadline business be the reason, is all.
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